October 25 - November 2 OR done sorted next
I have, at last, submitted my rainforest ecology report. Generally, I am pleased with it, although I didn’t like the font. Lesson: wingdings is a sometime thing. The hardest part was coming up with a title. No combination of words seemed to work, not even real ones. Not even fake ones. Eventually, I decided the report didn’t need a title and left the front page blank. If this raises suspicions, I thought, I’ll just say it’s written in invisible ink. No, magic ink! Yeah, I’ll just say it’s written in magic ink, which is also invisible. The whole report was fourteen pages (three, without the reference list), which makes it the longest report ever written by a Last. I told dad and he wept. Not even all the bakery treats in the world could make me happier, he said. Not even a Humble Pie? I replied. He stared for a moment and then put his hand on his stomach. I’m hungry, he said.
This week, I spent every working hour in the laboratory, writing another report. It was about rodents, specifically small, food-eating ones. Fortunately, it was a group project. Team Extreme: Bastian, Can, Isabelle, Jonathan, Marta, self. We were each responsible for only a small part of the overall report. I was in charge of the running text, while Bastian, Can, Isabelle, Jonathan, and Marta were in charge of the title and typeset.
Now, with no reports to write in the immediate future, I am without responsibility. That is, I am not responsible, so it’s probably not a good time to ask me to babysit.
October 26/27 OR Fat Wally’s
My neighbour, whose name I have sworn never to reveal, is from Switzerland. He loves to eat. It is not uncommon to see him eating two ice-creams at once, or four ice-creams at twice. He even eats while riding. (I tried this once, but accidentally impaled a pedestrian with my Cornetto.) Lately, whatshisname has been kind enough to invite me to dinner. We have an arrangement: I proof-read his assignment and he feeds me. For every mistake I find, he owes me a meal. Fortunately for me, thingy is an awful speller, so I’ve been dining like a Prince. Often, we will have several meals in one evening: dinner; supper; post-supper; pre-dessert; second dinner. If X ever discovers the spell-check button, all is lost!
Q: If a Swede comes from Sweden, and a German comes from Germany, who comes from Switzerland?
A: Roger Federer
October 28-31 OR say cheese and die
On Wednesday night, I flipped a coin. Then, I flipped another coin and went to a night club. I went with Walter (my neighbour [the one who always eats]) and Jerome. We arrived early to avoid the queue. In fact, we were so early that we had to form the queue ourselves. We waited half an hour for the doors the open; I was first in line. For a few seconds, I was the ONLY person in the club. I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life. Eventually, more and more people arrived.
Dance. Dance. Dance.
Then, closing time; I didn’t have to go home, but I couldn’t stay there.
This is Halloween. This is Halloween. On Friday and Saturday, I weaved some magic. Two Halloween parties in two nights! Egads! I really am the worst costumee of all time. Here is the evolution of my costume: cowboy, gay cowboy, sexually confused cowboy, gay cowboy, teenage mutant ninja turtle, Pingu, gay cowboy, et cetera. Of course, all of those costumes required effort, and money. Also, it seemed like a waste not to use my wand and round glasses. So, I brewed some PP (polyjuice potion) and transformed into Harry Potter! Do-doo-do-do-doo do-doo doo. My friend, John, dressed as a milk carton. If there was a difference, my costume was lactose-tolerant. Two ghoulish nights! It was like being on the set of Thriller, twice! However, at some unfortunate moment, my camera broke. I did a radical jump and landed on my pocket, but it is more likely that my camera destroyed itself when I took a photo of Ulrike.
November 2 OR the worst night
Swine flu.
(This is all speculation.)
